Saint Paul writes to the Christian community in Rome about our fallen nature and negative bias like this:
"The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want. Now if [I] do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand" (Romans 7:18-21).
This whole negative bias becomes even more evident when experiencing the death of a loved one. Grief nevers ends because the love of the one lost is never gone. Love remains because authentic love is eternal.
[Let us pause here with an interlude to illustrate the point. ]
How blind am I, O Lord!
Narrow is my vision
For your power is beyond
Even my imagination.
Arrogance and ignorance are my strengths
When I consider your ways, O Lord.
Pain takes over, and
Grace must overcome.
In grief, I proclaimed
You caused her death
When I cried, "How could you let this happen! Why Lord? O why?
As if Your plan for her and I
Could be thwarted by Death!
Death has no victory over You.
But it had conquered me in that moment, not her.
Your power moves beyond Death
As my power was consumed in Death.
The plan for her and I is always Yours, even beyond Death.
Your plan for her and I never ceased to be
Yet blinded by Death even before she left me
To be eternally Yours.
Continue to work in me, O Lord
Beyond this Death!
Let your plan for her and I remain in me as I remain in You.
Let your plan move beyond Death into another her for me.
Let me remain in You as I was in her and shall be for another her.
Together then we remain in one another beyond Death and into Eternal Life.
[Now we return to our reflection on grief and our fallen nature.]
In our earthly, fallen existence, love manifests in grief because the doing good (focusing on the positive and good memories) is not readily at hand. Memories of what is lost and thoughts of what can never be are the negative biases we easily hold onto. And that to me is evidence of our fallen nature.
Yet as Saint Paul and countless other saints remind us: God is good. Redemption is at hand. Grace is abundant. And Victory over Death is Christ's and for those who follow Him.
Grief is not evil, nor a sinful act. Grief however is a sign of our fallen nature AND a sign of redemption if we place our grief with Christ's grief. Yes, Jesus grieved not because He is fallen but because He loved. Christ shows us the way through grief and out of negative bias; out of sin and death and into grace and eternal life. Just as Jesus was baptized though without sin, Jesus too grieved though without a fallen nature. He is the Way of Redemption.
Christ shows us how grief can be sacramental, a sign of redemption. If we place our sufferings with those of Christ's, then our tears are joined with His. United with Christ, our cleansing tears become sacramental, a loving sign of redeeming grace. Our tears of a grace-filled grief heal our fallen nature according to the Law of Love. In that darkness of death, we are transformed by the Light of Life. Grief may remain in the shadows, but love eternal bonds us to hope everlasting.
This is why Catholics pray for the faithful departed. We pray to remain with those departed yet destined for Heaven. We pray as part of the Communion of Saints here on Earth and with those in Heaven. We believe grief united with grace brings hope of redemption and eventually eternal life with God and the saints.
