I am feeling all the weight of Goodness. This is for me what spiritual gravity is--the weight of goodness that allows me to stand tall, yet is often unbearable because I cannot stand alone. This is the ceiling for which God calls me to constantly seek. A ceiling that calls me to grow ever taller, always taller. The taller I grow the more I feel all the weight of God's Goodness. His goodness is too much for me. Not because I am unworthy, the exact opposite. God knows I am worthy. I believe that I am worthy because He walks with me, never leaving my side, always holding me up. His Goodness is my cross to bear.
At first thought, I told myself how could this even be? This makes no sense. What a paradox. The spiritual gravity of Goodness is what allows me to stand yet as the gravity increases, I experience a weight too unbearable to stand on my own. This is why grace is required.
Imagine trying to stand on a planet with ten times the gravity of Earth? No one could stand without some kind of assistance such as a technological modification. Well, if I am to bear this weight of spiritual gravity that comes with Heaven, then I must feel it all, all the Goodness of God, and bear the weight of that Cross.
This is my vocation, as what many friends have called me, "the perfect husband." This is the unique name for me of "feeling it all." This is that weight of this expectation, my spiritual gravity, my cross of Goodness that God has given me to carry. The Beauty of this Goodness is that as husband I require my wife. By definition I must have a companion, I require a partner (again), but not just anyone. My unique vocation is a lifelong partnership with another of the other sex who is my complement. This is God's plan for marriage, the reality of the sacramental nature of marital unity, and His plan for my vocation, again.
I have my own cross as well as her cross, and the cross of our family together. The weight of spiritual gravity has quadrupled, and yet I continue to stand taller, taller for her child, taller for her, taller for myself, and taller for God.
Everyday, every hour, every minute, and every moment I feel it all, all of the gravity, and I continue to grow taller thanks be to God.
Saint Joseph, pray for us.
