This doesn't mean life is easy.
Life is difficult,
But the choices are clear.
And timing is key.
Venerable Fulton J. Sheen once said:
"Patience is not an absence of action;
rather it is "timing." It waits on the right time to act, for the right principles, and in the right way."
Patience is a struggle, at least for me, because patience is all about timing. And my timing has not been good, thus I struggle mightily in telling a joke. I am learning that I need to be patient, or more specifically I need to trust in God's timing.
In a relationship, patience with one another requires clear, effective communication to be synchronized or in harmony with your beloved. And this is best achieved when both are trusting in God's plan for them.
This is where the analogy of dancing makes so much sense to me, despite being a terrible dancer. The couple dancing must not only trust each other but also coordinate their efforts according to the rhythm of the music they both hear. The music is God's plan for them. If either or both dancers are not paying attention to the music or struggle to move with the music together, then the couple will be frustrated in their relationship, stumbling along the way.
Consider what Saint Paul writes:
"I, then, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace: . . ."
--Ephesians 4:1-3
Over the last year, I have struggled with my impatient heart because I have been dealing with the impact of grief and its companion anxiety. Slowly the Holy Spirit is purging the impatience and anxiety in my heart, but my impatience demands the newness of God's plan for me to be contained in this old self.
Consider what Jesus tells the disciples of John the Baptist:
"People do not put new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise the skins burst, the wine spills out, and the skins are ruined.
Rather, they pour new wine into fresh wineskins, and both are preserved."
--Matthew 9:17
This process of purging is not without pain or difficulties. The pain is most often self-inflicted and the difficulties often impact my relationships. My old heart must be made anew to receive the fullness of the new love God has planned for me. And recently new wine has been slipping away. This has been devastating to me.
Recently I have been stoking the fire of the Holy Spirit. God did not abandoned me, but accepted my, um "determination" or "stubbornness." He met me where I was at while I continued to stoke the fire. This painful process remains in some degree while the burn consumes every remnant of my old self. This is the reality of our earthly existence.
Many of my selfish impatient ways that stoked the fire were purged from me recently, leaving me utterly exhausted and feeling empty. Despite my stubborn ways, God forged within me a confidence that I could not have made on my own. This newly forged confidence has restored in me the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Only focusing on the Sacred Heart of Jesus and opening myself up to his grace has this patient confidence been restored.
Patience is one of the twelve fruits of the Holy Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23).
Consider this passage:
"See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains. You too must be patient. Make your hearts firm, because the coming of the Lord is at hand.” — James 5:7-8
Ashes from the fire of the Holy Spirit can fuel the soil of your soul. Yet patience is necessary to tend the garden of your heart. God knows what he is doing for he alone is Creator. Allowing God to properly nourish the soil will yield a great harvest of fruit within your relationships. Believe me, this is not easy.
Like in gardening, turning the soil is necessary to cause the heat required to activate the nutrients that feed the plants. Yet if you overturn the soil too often, if you stoke the fire before it is ready, you will not yield the results you desire nor need. You must learn to let the ground rest, to not rush the process. You cannot force growth. Be ready for the blooms when they arrive for the harvest will yield a great feast.
That is God's plan for life and love. Simple but not easy.
