He persisted in his pursuit of pontificating about his pain. He proceeded to inform me that the pain must be punishment from God the Almighty. His pain was so unbearable that only the Divine Maker could conjure up this magnitude of malfeasance. His pain clearly had a spiritual awakening for he began to confess his sins to me, "I have not honored my parents!"
On the verge of tears, he continued, "God is punishing me for my sins. Why else would he allow me to suffer as such?"
His tears were real, but not of remorse. His confession, sincere, but not from a contrite heart. And clearly, he was suffering, but it was of his own making. I was wholeheartedly sympathetic, for I too have experienced excruciating pain and endured suffering of my own making. Yet because of this and because he confessed something of repeated daily offense, I knew without doubt there was no contrition in his anguishing acclamations. He was blaming God for his suffering. And who among us has not?
With kergymatic fervor, I proclaimed, "God is not punishing you. God does not punish, He loves."
In teenager fashion, he arrogantly replied, "Then why does he allow me to suffer? If He truly loves me, then He would never allow me to have pain."
I paused, not because I didn't have an answer to his ageless question about the human condition. My pause was to allow what he just said to hang in the air. To allow his deepest thoughts to penetrate through the hardness of his heart. To give him the silence he desperately needed, even if for just a quectosecond. In that silent moment, if embraced, there is no suffering.
Embrace that silence, for however long you can, and abide in that silent stillness, for as much as possible. Therein awaits, no pain, only comfort. Therein awaits, no suffering, only mercy. Therein awaits, God.
With pain and suffering surrounding, in this silent stillness, your mindset changes. Suffering becomes a blessing because you realize that the pain breaks through your hardness of heart. That moment of healing grace transforms you, for good, if you truly embrace it. In that encounter, you allow God to heal your heart first.
A healing heart is not some success outcome from a catechetical lesson. A healing heart is simply an encounter with the Lord.
The Lord knows your pain. The Lord suffered more than any person. The Lord died for all of us, everyone. The Lord conquered death. Love is victorious! For by His Cross and Resurrection, He has redeemed the world.
